Finding Light in the Darkness - Jasmine's Journey of Resilience

Jasmine’s first memory is being whipped with a switch by her mother in Mexico. She was three years old. Her mother had been gone for months in Acapulco and left her with a caretaker. The day she came back, Jasmine was beaten because her mom found her without shoes on her feet. She would live with her mom’s violence for years – beatings with a stick, a belt, a wire, a coat hanger, in the name of discipline. Years later, Jasmine would look back and say, “My mom’s ‘discipline’ of me was fueled by her own rage from being beaten when she was a child.” But another abuser would come into Jasmine’s life. 

When Jasmine was five, she was brought illegally to the United States by her mother and her mom’s boyfriend. He was an alcoholic and an abuser. Her mom told her the man was her father. For years, Jasmine did not know any different. At age 5, Jasmine began to sense his presence in her bedroom at night. It would last for nearly a decade of her childhood. He molested her until she was 13 years old. Jasmine’s stepdad was deported when she was 13, not for molesting her but for dealing drugs. 

Jasmine still calls his deportation one of the “best days of my life.” The violence and abuse at times left her depressed and dark, but there were mitigating forces in her life and many opportunities to set goals and pursue pathways forward. By age 14, Jasmine was starting high school but confesses today she was “mostly driven by anger toward my stepdad.” She is smart, articulate, and organized. She first attended Camp HOPE America at age 13 and found friends, inspiration, and goals for her life. She said she wanted to be a biologist at her first campfire when we asked what kids wanted to do when they grew up.

Jasmine’s mom wanted her to have the educational opportunities she did not have herself growing up. She found a willing friend and got Jasmine a mailing address that would get her into better primary and secondary schools, including a high school with a strong science program. Jasmine found other smart, driven high schoolers and soon enrolled into the school’s four-year Biomedical Science program. She excelled in science and math and did well in high school. Each summer she and her brother attended Camp HOPE America and found encouragement, friends, and possibilities for the future. At 16, she described her motivation in life. “I am driven by my anger. I know it looks like I am just driven in a good way but if you put me in a room with my stepdad today and put a knife between us – I would grab the knife and stab him as many times as I could until you stopped me.” Camp HOPE America helped her find ways to turn her anger into power and let go of some of the anger and unforgiveness that could have destroyed her like a cancer.

Jasmine is a so-called “Dreamer” – brought to the United States without legal status by a parent without legal status. It only compounded the trauma as she grew up – realizing the risk she faced of being deported from the only country she has ever really called home. Working with Camp HOPE America, the Mexican Consulate, and the San Diego Family Justice Center, Jasmine got her legal residency status.

Jasmine got into college and counseled for Camp HOPE America all through college.  She has now graduated from Cal State San Marcos in San Diego and is teaching in the public schools in San Diego County. And she is getting married to man who honors and respects her. The truth: She can be anyone and anything she wants to be in life. She still has bouts of depression and anger, but she is learning to talk about it, work through issues with a counselor, advocate for herself, and share her story with others. She will also tell anyone that asks that the pathway is not linear. There are ups and downs.

Her negative self-talk sometimes wins the day. But at other times, she can see the truth: She is smart, gifted, beautiful, powerful, and destined to do great things with her life. She is an introvert that struggles with relationships, but she is also incredibly gifted in working with girls that have experienced violence and abuse.

Jasmine is still experiencing in many ways the impact of generational trauma as well. Jasmine’s mom would likely score a 10 on the ACE Scale. Jasmine’s mom needed Camp HOPE America and a Family Justice Center many years ago in her own life. But Jasmine is learning that her pain, her challenges, even her anger are natural and normal reactions to what she has overcome.  The Family Justice Center and Camp HOPE America - San Diego both played powerful roles in her mom’s life, her life, and her brother’s life.